Returning to NY
Long distance relationships are hard. Since you left for NY, we have made a plan to spend our weekends together. You will come here every other weekend and I will fly to you the others. It’s not ideal, of course, but it’s something. I miss seeing you everyday.
I just wish things were better. You continue to push away when times are hard. It makes me question if things are ever going to work out. Maybe we just work differently. When I’m having a bad day I reach out to you for comfort and companionship. You do the opposite. It makes me wonder if this is sustainable in the long run. While I can want this more than anything in the world, if it’s never going to get to the point where we need it to be mutually satisfying, what’s the point?
I’m hoping this weekend in our new place together will help iron out these issues. If we fight once, I won’t be able to take it. I’m stretching myself, emotionally and financially to help keep this thing alive. Part of me knows you need me in your life, I just wish you would make room for me.
I still love you very much, but I’m starting to question why I put myself through all the pain, as the stuff I want from this relationship seems to be so far away. Maybe out of reach.
I am excited to see you. I hope you’re feeling better. I hope you look at me again and find me attractive. I hope you want to make me a priority.